Three Glittering Life Lessons from the Ngiritas

First, we start by giving credit where it is due. It has taken a whole two years for the Ngiritas to break.  Two calendar years! This is an extremely long time for someone to hold the fort when corruption is away, bank accounts are frozen or pockets are empty. Politicians take a few weeks, musicians a few days and slayqueens a few minutes. But for the Ngiritas? It has been a whole two years. Kudos.

Lesson one: Pride comes two years before the fall

But the fall has been great. It has come the Humpty Dumpty style. Fall from tattoos, golden earrings and show off to a beggar pleading for mercy and saying that ‘we were not alone.’ It would require a forensics experts to confirm that the person who appeared in court two years ago is the one who appeared there this week.

Current Ngirita
Former Ngirita

Lesson two: It does not matter where a tissue paper is used; whether in Runda or Githogoro.

The suspect is also confused about the corruption accusations they are facing. She wonders where the 9 billion they are accused of stealing is, possibly because she has never seen such an amount of money. (I need to admit here that I have that amount of money in my wallet).

What that means is that the Ngiritas were majorly used, more than being partners in crime. If they accuse you of stealing 9 billion, ensure that you have all of it in your wallet, not just 2% of it. Keep it in your wallet because they cannot freeze your wallet.

Lesson three: Choose your poverty wisely.

But then, even though you are poor, not every poor man is your colleague. There are different types of poverty and you need to understand your poverty so that you can co-exist with it.

There are the poor poor, the rich poor, the not very poor poor, and then there are those who are so poor that even poverty would not want to be associated with them. Maybe that is where you belong.

But for the Ngiritas, their poverty involves their children not being able to speak in German, although they are fluent in English, Swahili and Kikuyu. Their poverty involves having a fee arrears of 3.4 million.

Do you know what it means to have a debt of 3.4 million? If you cannot comprehend that, check your M-Shwari loan limit and see how closed it is from 3.4 million. You need to understand that all poverty is not created equal.

Lacking small monies is poverty. Lacking big monies is wealth. If you owe a bank 47k, that is your big problem, but if you owe the bank 4.7 billion, that is the banks problem.

Bonus Read: Gideon Moi opens up about his life in poverty

Cut out the middleman by joining our Telegram Channel below.


This is PostaMate notification channel. We bring to you the best of satire.