Nairobi, Kenya – In a remarkable turn of events, citizens across the nation have put their cynicism aside and wholeheartedly embraced President Ruto’s groundbreaking housing fund initiative. Despite the challenging economic climate and widespread mistrust in government initiatives, Kenyans from all walks of life are reportedly thrilled to contribute a generous 3% of their hard-earned […]
Tag: Corruption
EACC Investigates Meru Farmer Over Unexplained Poverty
The Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission has moved to court to compel a Meru farmer to account for his state of poverty despite working hard for over 30 years. In documents seen by PostaMate, EACC wants the farmer to explain how he is unable to afford food, pay school fees for his children, pay for water […]
Probability of Receiving Back Money Sent to Wrong M-PESA Number Drops to 0.003%
The Kenya National Bureau of Statistics has reported a marginal decline in the number of people willing to reverse the money erroneously sent to them via M-PESA. During the launch of the 2021 Economic Survey Report, KNBS said that hard economic times had led to reduction in the number of people willing to reverse the […]
JSC Raises Minimum Bribe in the Judiciary to 1 billion
The Judicial Service Commission of Kenya has raised the bribe floor in the Judiciary to KShs 1 billion following an abuse of justice by allowing small bribe amounts. Responding to an expose by former Nairobi Governor Mike Sonko, JSC said that it is unfortunate that judges were accepting bribes as low as KShs 100 million, […]
“Offshore Account is a Hedge Against State Collapse” – Uhuru
President Uhuru Kenyatta, also known as client 13173, has admitted that the small amount of money he stashed in an offshore account was to help his family survive just in case Kenya went the Somalia or South Sudan way. After calling for an audit of all the offshore accounts, Kenyatta said that every Kenyan needs […]
Client 13173
When the Pandora’s box was opened, client 13173 stuck out like a sore thumb. A man who has spent all his sensible life threatening the corrupt was found to have been a direct beneficiary of corruption. Like any sensible person who is into banking, he had saved some money in a secret offshore account. In […]
Wash Wash Guys Good for the Economy – KRA
The Kenya Revenue Authority has downplayed fears that the wash wash guys were harmful to the economy, and instead announced that some of them are leading taxpayers in the country. Following public outcry after Edgar Obare exposed the wash wash industry, KRA said that the economic benefits of the industry have been felt since the […]
Ruto asks Close Allies to Minimize Corruption as witch-hunt Begins
Kenya’s Deputy President William Ruto has requested his close allies to minimize all acts of corruption after his relationship with the President hit an all-time low. Speaking at his Karen residence, Ruto said that the next few months will see people close to him being targeted and accused of all sorts of crimes, and so […]
Ruto Promises to Pay Back Four times as Much to anyone he has Stolen from, if Elected President
Deputy President William Ruto is on track to become the fifth president of Kenya, thanks to his tenacity, support from like minded people, and being hated by the president who is hated by many people. Since your enemy’s enemy is your friend, Ruto has found love among Kenyans who will send him to State House […]
Cytonn Assures Investors that their Returns are in Heaven
Cytonn Investments has assured all the people who invested in The Cytonn High Yield Solutions (CHYS) that they will definitely get their money plus the full returns, here on earth, and if not, most definitely in heaven. Responding to social media noise that CHYS had failed to pay some early investors, Cytonn CEO Edwin Dande […]