NMS: Repainting Nairobi Will End Traffic Jams

While the world is grappling with a pandemic with Kenyan cases of Covid-19 on the rise, the Nairobi Metropolitan Services decided it was time to get the nation’s capital in order.

“I think we can all agree that this is long overdue” said General Abdi in a room full of paint buckets. The Arts and Craft project was agreed upon after a careful argument on what projects in the city really needed to be addressed. “This city needs a face lift and we need all your support because we only have 60 days to do this” he asserted.

Coming in hot after the launch of newly paved walkways, the painting project is set to give Nairobi the much-needed upgrade it’s residents have been looking to get for years. While residents are continually asking for uninterrupted water supply and better sewerage systems, the painting project seemed much easier to actually execute. This initiative was among the first of 50 more in the larger Nairobi Interior Design Upgrade 2020.

“We want to create a perfect illusion of a functioning city without all the heavy lifting” Mr. Abdi reiterated. Residents are expecting breathtaking spaces to take selfies in front of and more importantly, fresh coats of paint to take a piss on in alleyways.

“My request is that they make the green on Afya center a bit more lively. We don’t want any more people from upcountry getting lost” said one matatu conductor.

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