Universities spend millions of shillings every year paying for cleaning services, while at the same time sitting on a huge pile of free labor that can be used to do the work. Our research has shown that Universities would be better off if they saved themselves the money and used that free labor.
This can even be made better by tying a student’s reputation with HELB, which means that the more they clean, the more HELB will be gracious to them. Our social scientists have come up with six convincing reasons why university students should made to clean the universities everyday, and we shall be presenting this to His Earthquakeness George Magoha soon.
Here is the why:
Comrades are idle most of the time
Save for the small minority of medical and civil engineering students, majority of comrades have nothing to do in campus. Days are long with just one lecture at 3 pm, and nights are even longer. Wouldn’t it be great if they used that free time to scrub the lecture halls, clean the mess and ensure that washrooms are not stinking.
They have unused energies
KenGen is exploring ways to convert excess energy of the comrades into electricity and connect them to the national grid. But before then, we need a way to safely dissipate this unused energy that is locked in comrades.
Getting them to scrub off graffiti from walls would be a good use of this national resource.
It will Prepare them for Unemployment
Although we have not yet told them that there will be no jobs when thy graduate, we need to prepare them for this reality. Since most of them will simply go into menial jobs, why don’t they start early enough? Making them do the cleaning will be the most important skill they will carry out of the universities.
They are experienced
Unless if you went to a group of schools, cleaning must have been part of your life in high schools. Chances are high that you even cleaned the ablution block at some point of your 4 year study.
This is the kind of experience that University management should tap into.
Universities are Broke
Universities and poverty are always in the same WhatsApp groups. Lecturers wait for years to be paid, while buildings whose foundation stones were laid by the late Mzee Jono Kenyatta are still 3 feet tall. Yet, so much money is spent paying other people to clean lecture rooms as if that will prevent comrades from getting strong Ds.
Save yourself the money, VCs.
Some of their courses are useless
While most will not get jobs, there is a special category of people who are getting the worst deals from universities. These are the ones who study some carefully crafted courses with fancy sounding names but are not recognized by any employer in the world. The only job opportunity possible is to become a lecturer and teacher another set of failures.
Can we do them this favor, please?
PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE