Alarm as Men Spend more Time and Money in Barber Shops than Women in Salons

A long held tradition as been lost after it was revealed that men now spend more time in barbershops than women do in salons.

What used to be a 7-minute stay in a barbershop once every two months has now metamorphosed to a weekly three hour visit to the same place, at ten times the cost.

In the research performed by Center for Masculine Affairs and Perpetuation of the Male Gender, men were found to love their barbershops more than they love football and alcohol, something that has happened gradually in the last five years. “Today, an average man spends more time every month at the barber shop than his wife spends at the salon.”


While it is not clear why men are spending more time getting a haircut, those who we asked warned us to neither quote them nor contact them ever, most of them saying that they feared the response of Ezekiel Mutua.

In public, most men claim that long hair is just nagging and they need to keep it short. However, the study shows that the actual shave takes the same time as it used to do five years ago and the difference comes in what happens after the shave. While we were not able to establish the actual details of what goes in there, a new trend for barbershop is to hire young girls in minimal dresses as part of their staff.

Whatever happens there remains a black hole.

One lady who is not very amused by the information was at loss to explain what is the new attraction in barbershops. “Why should a bald man with no beard go for a shave every week? It doesn’t sound cool or fun!”

International Condemnation

The new trend has drawn condemnation from far and wide.

Mzee Jackson Kibor, a renowned masculinity patron said that the new trend might trigger the end of life on earth. “This is something that could really anger the ancestors and we are not saying this is the reason why more men than women are dying of Covid-19. It could actually be the reason the virus was sent into 2020.”

Another masculine coach who rules the Twitter streets, Amerix, said that the we need laws to regulate the frequency of the visits to the barbers, as well as clear vetting of the people who work there. “We have already lost too many men here and it is the time we addressed this matter of inter-galaxy concern. We are losing the men!”

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