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Safaricom’s Home Fibre Internet Falls to Below 2MB

Safaricom has announced that their revered Home Fibre Internet has fallen to below 2MB and users will need to browse responsibly if they are to keep enjoy the benefits of the service.

Kenyans realized that they are no longer allowed to use the unlimited service as they had earlier been allowed to, with Safaricom saying that some people had resulted to being resellers of the resellers of the resellers of the service. With that, Safaricom opted to limit everyone’s access to less than 2 MB to ensure that no one is reselling the service or wasting their time watching useless videos online.

This breaking news was found tucked somewhere on page 1864 of the news Terms and Conditions. It was so obvious because it was written on font 0.5 under the miscellaneous part, and only a nerd serving a 109 year prison sentence was able to discover it after nearly running out of boring materials to read.

“We know that most people have turned into couch potatoes switching between YouTube, Netflix and other services all day. It is our time to fix this country and we will do this by limiting the home fiber to strictly less than 2MB at all times. If you have nothing productive to do, do not do it on our Home Fiber Internet.”

The news was received with anger majorly by those who don’t use the service but keep a keen eye on what Safaricom is doing. Many expressed anger that Safaricom was playing a dangerous game with their friends’ monies, just as it does with mobile internet bundles. Those who use the service complained bitterly because while less than 2MB is too little, it is still more than the alternatives that are locally available.

Following the new less than 2MB state, Kenyans are expected to continue tweeting about it for the next seven days using Safaricom internet, after which they will quietly move on to the next oppression.