How to Evade Toll Charges on the Nairobi Expressway

Kenyans using the Nairobi Expressway are expected to pay between KShs 120 and 1800 as toll fees for the road once Bob the Builder is done with the construction.

This is something Kenyans are not happy about. Nobody likes bills, leave alone bills to pay for a road that is built on public land, that also benefits from fuel maintenance levy that Kenyans pay. Kenyans don’t need to pay 80 billion for a highway that essentially should be free.

It is on this background that Kenyans who care about their money are working on plans to make sure no one pays for the Expressway.

But how?

Boycott the Expressway for three Months

The expressway contract has a clause that says that should Kenyans fail to use the road; the government will be forced to step in and pay for the road. In the end, the government will be paying for the road while no one uses it.

If this happens for three months, the government will have no option but to ask Kenyans to use the expressway for free. No point in paying for the road while no one uses it. The road will end up being toll free.

Drive very Slowly on the Expressway

The term expressway means that one will be expected to cruise from Westlands to Mlolongo in 16 minutes. The alternative is to use the peasant road below which takes 61 minutes on an average day.

If a few Kenyans unite, they could drive very slowly on the expressway and take 2 hours from one end to another, while blocking all traffic. If this happens regularly, it will be faster to drive on the peasant road than on the expressway, something that will make the non-peasants get tired of the expressway.

Pay for the Damn Expressway with Exposure

Many Kenyans are paid through exposure and no one sees to have a problem with that except the ones being paid. Even KRA has expressed the desire to tax any form of payment that is received in form of goodwill and exposure.

If the government is okay with Kenyans being paid by exposure, then Kenyans should be able to return the favor and pay for any service by exposure. How about Kenyans bring some exposure and use it to pay Moja Expressway?

Compromise the Tolling Clerk

The good thing with this project is that the tolling clerks will be Kenyans. You can’t expect a Chinese guy to sit there and haggle over the fees with a Tawala Sacco conductor.

Kenyans are all the same. They speak one language. If you carry a fifty bob note and discreetly hand it over to the toll station attendant, they will raise the boom gate for you and you will have paid way less than what the authorities want you to pay.

Barter Trade

Did you know that if you fit a broom under your car and drive along the expressway, you can claim some rebate for helping keep the expressway clean?

What are you waiting for?

postamate is a satirical publication

We create satire to keep people entertained, and thinking.