Rigathi Gachagua Vows to Dismantle all Fashion Cartels

Deputy President elect Rigathi Gachagua is off to a quick start, promising to deal with fashion cartels that have kept young Kenyans in perpetual poverty. In his first presser, Rigathi Gachagua noted that one of the agents that Lords of Poverty have been using to reign over hustlers is fashion, noting that Kenyans are now […]


Kenya’s Education System Set to Collapse on 23rd January 2023

Experts have warned that the Competence Based Curriculum (CBC) that is currently undergoing live trials in Kenya is on track to collapse on 23rd January 2023, if everything goes according to plans. The news, which turns out to be common knowledge to everybody except the Ministry of Education, says that if the status quo is […]


Man Suffers Second Degree Burns after sharing Bathtub with Wife

What started as a romantic gesture ended up as a traumatic venture after a man suffered serious burns when he joined the wife for a bath. The lazy evening in the outskirts of Kampala was jolted to life when the man plunged into the hot bathtub where the wife was relaxing, thinking that the water […]


Government Investigating Rigathi Gachagua’s English at the Deputy Presidential Debate

72% of the government went into a mild coma after it emerged that the man who previously could never make sense while holding a microphone might just have been pretending and saving his English for the Deputy Presidential Debate. Following the debate where Rigathi Gachagua managed to keep speaking for 32 minutes, the government has […]


Elon Musk Doubles Effort on Zero Emission Babies

The world’s richest man and large family ambassador is now shifting his focus on curbing global warming by producing zero emission babies. Elon Musk – who has led by example by having nine children – says that he is working to ensure that his next four children will be net zero certified and will not […]


Small Claims Court Rules Against Girl who ‘Ate Fare’

The Small Claims Court in Nairobi has ruled against a girl who was ‘sent fare’ by a male colleague but failed to turn up for a birthday party as agreed. In the case filed the Milimani Small Claims Court, a gentleman identified as BCN said that he had sent KShs 3000 to a lady by […]


House Republicans Look to Pass Sex Outside Marriage Control legislation by November

House Republicans will try to advance a raft of sex control bills early next month to solve the problem of unexpected pregnancies following the overturning of Roe Vs Wade. House Judiciary Committee Ranking Member Jim Jordan (R-OH) has called committee lawmakers back from a break to markup sex legislation that combines three separate bills. The […]


Kenya Meat Commission Appoints its first Vegan CEO

The Kenya Meat Commission has appointed a renowned vegan (name withheld due to fear of Social Media trolls) as it’s CEO. The military led institution announced its new CEO who is expected to lead the company to greater success after the military jumpstarted the formally dead company. However, questions on the logic of appointing someone […]


EACC Investigates Meru Farmer Over Unexplained Poverty

The Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission has moved to court to compel a Meru farmer to account for his state of poverty despite working hard for over 30 years. In documents seen by PostaMate, EACC wants the farmer to explain how he is unable to afford food, pay school fees for his children, pay for water […]


Kenya’s Roadside Food Vendors Successfully Take Out Million Dollar Startup Kune Foods

In 2021, a white man armed with $1m set out to discover cheap foods in Kenyans. Due to cultural blindness, he couldn’t find any, so he decided to invent the cheap food for Kenyans. The result? Roadside food vendors armed with nothing but cooking pans launched a counter attack. 10 months later, the white man […]