In a surprising turn of events, the Ugandan government has been voted the “Most Emotional and Petty Government in the World” by the International Governmental Emotional Quotient Council (IGEQC). This prestigious title, previously held by a small island nation known for its passionate town hall meetings, has now been passed on to Uganda, a country […]
In a shocking move, King Charles III of the United Kingdom and 15 other Commonwealth realms has expressed his desire to relocate to Kenya permanently if the East African nation makes him its king. The 75-year-old monarch, who ascended the throne in 2022 after the death of his mother Queen Elizabeth II, said he has […]
The United Nations (UN) has announced a new initiative to address one of the most pressing issues facing humanity: the problem of socks missing one partner. The UN Secretary-General, Antonio Guterres, said that this issue has caused “untold suffering and frustration” for millions of people around the world, and that it is time to take […]
NAIROBI, KENYA—A new study by the University of Nairobi has found that friendships in Nairobi are worthless, and that most people in the city are better off without them. The study, which surveyed over 10,000 Nairobi residents, revealed that friendships in Nairobi are overvalued by up to 30% and that they offer no real benefits […]
NAIROBI, KENYA—The Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) announced today that it has hired two construction companies to oversee the controlled demolition of the shilling, the national currency of Kenya. This comes at a time when CBK is implementing its strategic plan, part of which involves devaluing the shilling to boost the economy. The CBK said […]
John Smith, a 35-year-old accountant from Kansas City, Missouri, is enjoying a peaceful and happy life because he knows nothing about the Middle East conflict. Smith, who has never traveled outside the US, said that he has no interest in learning about the history, politics, or culture of the region, and that he prefers to […]
Nairobi Water and Sewerage Company (NWSC) has issued a public notice asking residents of the city to refrain from pooping in the morning hours, citing severe congestion in the sewer lines. The notice, which was posted on the company’s website and social media platforms, said that the high demand for flushing toilets between 6 a.m. […]
NAIROBI, KENYA – John Mwangi, a 65-year-old father of three, has been struggling with his sugar addiction for years. He loves to eat cakes, cookies, candies, and chocolates every day, despite his doctor’s warnings about his diabetes and high blood pressure. He says he can’t help it, because sugar makes him happy and gives him […]
The National Museums of Kenya has announced that they will remain closed during the entire period of the visit of King Charles III, the monarch of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth realms. The authorities said that all the museum facilities in the country will remain closed and under increased security during the visit, although […]
In a controversial move, Kenya Airways has decided to charge passengers based on the combined weight of their body and luggage. The airline says that this will help save fuel and reduce greenhouse gas emissions, as well as motivate passengers to pack less. The new policy, which will start from November 1, 2023, will require […]
