The recently announced Social Health Insurance Fund will offer third-party health insurance coverage in a bid to attract more Kenyans from the private sector into the fund. Speaking at the launch of the services, the Health CS said that the third party will transform healthcare in the country through an innovative approach. The new cover […]
Tag: Health
Medical Interns Enjoy 5 Months of Donkey Work Without Pay, Minister Basks in Social Media Glamour
In a stunning display of gratitude towards medical interns, the Ministry of Health has treated them to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: five whole months of relentless toil without any form of compensation. The interns, who tirelessly carry out back-to-back calls, have discovered a hidden secret – their insurmountable workload has miraculously saved them from the clutches […]
Nurses in Kenya Ranked 3rd Most Cruel in the World
The World Health Organization’s health systems performance index has placed nurses in Kenya in the 3rd position on the healthcare workers cruelty index. The Health System Performance and Public Health Steering Committee noted that nurses in Kenya mete out unimaginable cruelty on helpless patients, making healthcare institutions in Kenya an ‘active war zone’ and healthcare […]
Man Suffers Second Degree Burns after sharing Bathtub with Wife
What started as a romantic gesture ended up as a traumatic venture after a man suffered serious burns when he joined the wife for a bath. The lazy evening in the outskirts of Kampala was jolted to life when the man plunged into the hot bathtub where the wife was relaxing, thinking that the water […]
Kagwe Threatens to Forcefully Vaccinate all Kenyans by Drone Strike
Health CS Mutahi Kagwe has threatened to vaccinate all Kenyans through drone strikes if Kenyans do not take his vaccination threats seriously. Speaking after Kenyans failed to heed the government’s vaccine mandate, Kagwe said that it was time that drones armed with vaccine launchers were dispatched for mass vaccination in all parts of Kenya, starting […]
NHIF to Pay for Self-Medication
The National Hospital Insurance Fund (NHIF) will soon start paying for your favorite form of healthcare – self-medication. In a major win for the people, NHIF will compensate you for using traditional forms of medical care instead of rushing to the hospital anytime you have a common cold or a strange pain that you are […]
Society of Idiots Grants Mutahi Kagwe a Category 6 Status
Health CS Mutahi Kagwe has earned himself international recognition after the revered Society of Idiots (SoI) granted him a category 6 status, joining a group of select world leaders who have earned the coveted title. Kagwe, who heads Kenya’s health docket and has steered the country through the Covid-19 pandemic by sheer luck and guesswork […]
Mutahi Kagwe Reveals the Formula Used to Cook Covid-19 Stats
Kenyans can now learn the secrets of the kitchen that is used to cook Covid-19 statistics after Mutahi Kagwe revealed the formula so that Kenyans can do the cooking themselves. After nearly 18 months of intensive cookery, potlucking and general kitchen gymnastics that are employed to keep the media well fed and Kenyans satisfied. Donors […]
NHIF to Stop Coverage of Malaria Treatment in a bid to Increase Profits
As businesses in Kenya continue to face tough operating environments and decreased earnings, many are doing all things possible to avoid being in the red. The extent of what firms are willing to do to in order to remain afloat has now come to light, with NHIF announcing that it would stop covering malaria treatment […]
Kenya Sues USAID for Delaying ARVs Donation
Kenya has filed a suit against The United States Agency for International Development after the organization delayed the donation of much needed ARVs to Kenya. In the suit filed in a US Court, Kenya claims that the lives of many Kenyans were at stake after USAID failed to pay taxes on donated ARVs, delaying the […]