Health CS Mutahi Kagwe has earned himself international recognition after the revered Society of Idiots (SoI) granted him a category 6 status, joining a group of select world leaders who have earned the coveted title.
Kagwe, who heads Kenya’s health docket and has steered the country through the Covid-19 pandemic by sheer luck and guesswork received the award for his innovative policies and ability to retain a job when he doesn’t know exactly how health systems work.
The award is another milestone for the Ministry of Health, which seeks to vaccinate 20 million Kenyans in 30 days, after managing to vaccinate 4.5 million Kenyans in 8 months. “The category 6 status recognizes Kagwe as a living joke. We seek to recognize people who just joke and exist as a joke.” Said the Chief Idiot of SoI.
To be clear, no one knows what the award is about. Neither if a category 6 status is more desirable than category 5, or better than category 7. However, by observing previous awardees, category 6 status is such a great honor in the Society of Idiots. The last person to receive the award (posthumously) was a unpaid Al Shabaab intern who detonated a bomb to test if it was working. A notable mention is a man who wanted to poison his boss, but tasted the tea to check if the cyanide was enough.
On his part, Mutahi Kagwe thanked SoI and said that he would continue to live up to the expectations of the revered society.
Others who were present to witness the award were several Covid millionaires, relatives of the president who do business with Ministry of Health, and several cartels within NHIF and the wider health sector in Kenya. Other government representatives expressed hope that they too can get the award in the next corruption year.