In a puzzling Press Statement today, Kenya says coronavirus is more severe than covid-19. Explain why they were not taking the COVID-19 seriously by allowing 239 passengers from China into Kenya, the ministry of health said, “We have asked the 293 passengers from China to self quarantine because they are suspected of having COVID-19 which […]
Tag: Kenya
Somalia threatens Kenya with Sanctions
The Federal Republic of Somalia has threatened to slap Kenya with sanctions if Kenya does not immediately withdraw its support of an independent Jubaland. In a statement that was issued by Somalia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the government said that it was planning to deny all Kenyans Visa into Somalia, as well impose tariffs on […]
Kenyatta University Mess Food a Possible Cure for Corona Virus
Experts from the World Health Organization and top pharmaceuticals globally are converging at Kenyatta University after it emerged that the University’s mess holds a potential cure for Corona Virus which is currently threatening the world. In what could be a game changer for the university that is trying to position itself as a World Class […]
Tomato Traders in Kenya to Receive Police Protection
Tomato traders in various markets in Kenya will now receive 24/7 police protection as the cost of the fruit-cum-vegetable hits an all time high of KShs 25 per piece, from the usual price of KShs 2. So high is the price that it matches that of apples, the most luxurious fruit in the tropical Africa, […]
Kenya to Revise the Lords Prayer to ‘Forgive us Our Loans’
As Kenya’s Debt to GDP Ratio approaches an astronomical figure of 1981%, the government is taking all the possible steps to deal with the cloud of debt that now threats every shilling earned in Kenya. Recent suggestions put forward from the Treasury in collaboration with the church leaders will see the Lord’s prayer revised from […]
Kenya’s Parliament Votes to Make Moi a Saint
You can now call him Saint Moi. Former president of Kenya who just passed on has officially been declared a Saint by the country’s parliament, barely a few hours after he died. In a hurried process that started only five minutes after his clinical death was confirmed, Kenyan politicians took to all media stations available […]
CONFIRMED: Osprey Bird that Flew from Finland to Kenya Committed Suicide
A bird that hit headlines after flying from Finland to Kenya but finally died in the care of Kenya Wildlife Services has been confirmed to have committed suicide. The endangered Osprey which had been tagged in Finland flew for 6948 kilometres, something that baffled even the self-proclaimed General Miguna Miguna who has recently been unable […]
Kenya to Deal with Covid-19 by Running Away
The Ministry of Health in Kenya has come up with an innovative way of dealing with Coronavirus that is currently ravaging many parts of the world. In a presser sent to our media house, the Principal Secretary in the Ministry of Health said the country was planning to outrun the virus, a strategy that is […]
Top Atheist in Kenya Converts to Christianity after Tasting Mangoes in Makueni
There was panic at the Atheists in Kenya offices after one of their officials converted to Christianity, minutes after tasting some fresh mangoes from Makueni County. The man who had been a staunch atheist until last week was on official duty when he encountered the godly fruits that are in season and had his Damascus […]
Al-Shabaab Joins the Fight Against Locusts in Kenya
The fight against swarms of desert locusts invading Eastern and North Eastern Kenya has received a major boost after Al Shabaab decided to join the fight against the marauding insects. In a press conference, the Cabinet Secretary in charge of Agriculture noted that the militant group would work alongside the Kenya Police who are already […]
