The History of 2020 is really something out of history.
Historians are already burning the midnight oil as they try to unravel the mystery of the events and happenings that took place in the first half of 2020.
Using a range of tools and techniques, thousands of historians have been trying to unravel what took place in the 400 years between January and June 2020. Many have said that the volume of information involved could take a lifetime to even collect data.
Radio Carbon dating
“We are using radio carbon dating and other complex tools to analyze 2020. We have so many fossils to go through and dating is a major challenge. Already, we are already running out of storage space for our findings, but we are hopeful that we will unravel the mysteries of the first half of 2020.”
One research has been scouting caves and historical sites trying to apply the potassium–argon dating to establish when 2020 began. Preliminary findings show that the history of 2020 may overshadow all other history combined. It is for this reason that historians have started early enough in order to ensure the current generation can get to the root of 2020.
Among the events that took place include several wars that involved people, countries and even viruses. Several Third World Wars also took place. Iran engaged Maasai warriors to help them attack the United States after Trump blitzed General Kassim. India and China were also on the verge of minimizing their military numbers through a fist fight. (Possibly because they have the largest armies on earth).
Wild fires fried billions of animals in Australia and this was one of the most uniting activity of 2020, after George Floyd. After billions of money were spent unsuccessfully trying to put out the fire, rains came and the fire left.
The locusts also showed up. They ate not only plants but also the jobs of some people like the Cabinet Secretary for Agriculture in Kenya. Even AlShabaab joined the war against locusts.
Poorly Cooked Bat
But it is the folly of one or two men in the Wuhan City of China that set off the worst domino effect. Why can’t the Chinese cook their bats properly? The taste of poorly cooked bats is disgusting, and I wonder why someone did not have the patience to properly boil their bats before eating.
This is what has led to the biggest mutation in history. Human beings had gradually been minimizing the regions of their body which they chose to cover. In 2020, the list of protected body parts that have to be covered was also revised to include mouth and nose. All thanks to the poorly cooked bat soup.
The historical bat also takes credit for grounding all planes, getting people locked up, loss of jobs and a trial and error government policies. Luckily, money has come through for some governments that were dead broke.
On the positive side, the art of hand washing was invented – something that could potentially save millions of lives.
Human Behavior in 2020
UK left the EU, but was unable to move on, just like the English humour. In retaliation Meghan and Harry left the royal family. Good luck to them explaining to their black lives matter children that they could have been part of the royal family but the mother insisted…. forget it.
Iran shot down their own plane in revenge after attacking an empty US air base. Police continued to do what they are used to doing but video evidence became more available.
Good luck to those working on the history of 2020.
PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE