Itumbi Needs more Injuries to Qualify as Ruto’s Running Mate – Waiguru

Recent TangaTanga convert Ann Waiguru has said that Dennis Itumbi’s injuries are not sufficient to make him Ruto’s running mate in the 2022 General Elections.

Speaking after it became clear that clear that Itumbi was getting more attention than everybody else in Central Kenya, Waiguru said that the attention would not amount to anything meaningful because the injuries are not enough to sustain long term attention.

“I know he is getting all the publicity but it will soon end when he gets well. If Itumbi is to become Ruto’s running mate, he may need to get more life-threatening injuries. He needs a broken spine or a cracked skull.”

Waiguru admitted that all of Ruto’s options on a running mate from Mt Kenya region were bad, something that could make Ruto take greater risks and appoint Itumbi as a running mate. “Itumbi stands a chance because he can rally people behind him. However, that is not going to happen. He needs more injuries if he is to get into that game. Trust me.”

The Head of Hustler Nation Intelligence Bureau (HNIB) is recuperating at a maximum privacy prison after he was abducted and beaten, both physically and virtually. The DCI has ruled out the possibility of the injuries being from an attack by a hyena.

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