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Kenya to Run Out of Cabbage by January 25

A crisis is looming in Kenya after the ministry of Agriculture announced the dwindling cabbage reserves – with an eminent outage expected on January 25. Following a more-than-usual demand for cabbage in January, the ministry warned that farmers cannot keep up with the demand for the popular vegetable and advised Kenyans to seek alternative sources […]

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JKUAT Student Invents Charcoal that’s 31% Cannabis

The future of cooking looks promising after a student at the famous Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology invented charcoal made of 31% cannabis. Made from general biomass and the leaves of Cannabis Sativa, the new fuel is set to inject new enthusiasm into the energy sector, and the product has received widespread adoption […]

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Local Man Unlocks Dreaded Third Level of Primitive Accumulation of Tools

A local man is just about to have his financial plans short-circuited after he accidentally unlocked the dreaded third phase of primitive accumulation of tools that he will never use. What started as a teenage hobby has turned out to be a form of economic suicide after the man was unable to quit the dreaded […]

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LSK Orders Advocates to Provide Pupils with Transport Brooms

The Law Society of Kenya has come to the rescue of intern lawyers, popularly known as pupils, following a revelation that they have been getting the short end of the stick on matters of transport. Following complaints from advocates who cannot stand to see a pupil earning a salary of KShs 18,000 (before statutory deductions) […]

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New Oral Male Contraceptive to be Administered through Free Beer

The burden on birth control is about to shift from women to men after scientists got a major breakthrough in administering the oral male birth control pill. Several months after its launch, the male birth control pill failed to take off because scientists could not get men to swallow the pill. They are not even […]

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Machakos County Bans Dowry Payment During the Ongoing Dry Season

Machakos County Governor Wavinya Ndeti has banned all payment of dowry activities during the ongoing drought, terming the activity as exploitative. In one of her first executive orders, Ndeti said that many families were being taken advantage of by being offered very little dowry because they lack the capacity to negotiate for more. Consequently, the […]

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Kalonzo Musyoka in the Race to Succeed Queen Elizabeth

Veteran Kenyan politician Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka has expressed interest in succeeding Queen Elizabeth in the Monarchy of the United Kingdom. Following the untimely death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Kalonzo tossed his hat into the ring and expressed confidence that the people of the United Kingdom would appoint him King as restitution for the […]

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Designer of Nissan Juke Finally Euthanized in Japan

Justice was finally served in the populous Kanagawa Prefecture of Japan after the Yokohama District Court gave orders for the designer of Nissan Juke to be put to sleep in a humane way. After 12 years of being an eyesore to the world, haters of Nissan Juke had filed a case to have some form […]

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Rigathi Gachagua Vows to Dismantle all Fashion Cartels

Deputy President elect Rigathi Gachagua is off to a quick start, promising to deal with fashion cartels that have kept young Kenyans in perpetual poverty. In his first presser, Rigathi Gachagua noted that one of the agents that Lords of Poverty have been using to reign over hustlers is fashion, noting that Kenyans are now […]