Politics

Putin Offers to Mediate the Standoff Between Uhuru and Ruto over a Cup of Tea

Vladimir Putin, one of the most influential man on the planet and the President of Russia, has offered to help mediate the current bad blood between President Uhuru Kenyatta and his Deputy William Ruto.

Speaking in Kremlin, Putin said that he was willing to invite the two leaders for a cup of tea and have them discuss their differences with the aim of settling their disputes once and for all. He said that Russia was willing to go as far as it takes to ensure that the current conflict is resolved.

The current bad blood between the two leaders has threatened the unity of the government, with thieves in the government worrying that the conflict could expose them. Nonetheless, the conflict has not affected corruption levels in the government.

The offer was met with jubilation by the Kenyan leaders who have been busy with local politics to the extent that they have no time to read international media. Already, a team of over 40 clerks is ready to set off for the Kremlin. We wish them a safe journey there. The rest we cannot guarantee.