International

Trump Ready to Convert to Judaism if Mossad Backs Down

Former US president Donald Trump has indicated that he is willing to cede more ground in exchange for forgiveness as it became apparent that Mossad was seriously thinking about him.

Following the June 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid by FBI agents that showed that Trump held documents detailing an unnamed foreign country’s nuclear defenses (in the Hebrew language), Trump said that he holds the welfare of Jews dearly in his small hands and there is now he can do anything that can compromise his relationship with the tiny settler nation in the Middle East. Everyone knows that Jews are very efficient in exacting revenge.

Fearing a ‘Munich (2005 film)’ revenge script, Trump said that the ‘small’ matter of Mar-a-Lago documents can be solved amicably and he was indeed willing to convert to Judaism as a sign that he held the documents in good faith.

“I know they are worried but I want to let them know that everything is okay. I have the documents, I did not read the documents, the FBI now has the documents, and everything is now okay. Maybe I will go to the local Synagogue on Saturday and today I ate falafel for breakfast. I am in talks with a certain rabbi and it might turn out positive. Nobody knows. Nobody knows for sure.”

Trump also added that Jews must stop demanding for men to be physically circumcised if they want to appeal to a wider audience in the world, especially among Gen Z.

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