The best in sports Satire.

Sports

East Africans Tired of Winning all Marathons

People from the Eastern Africa region have expressed frustrations on having to win almost all marathons in the world, making it no longer interesting because the world offers little competition. Speaking after the London marathon where Eastern Africa athletes had to slow down to keep up with the world, marathoners lamented that it is no […]

Sports

Eliud Kipchoge Graciously allows other Human Beings to Win a Marathon

Kenyan marathoner Eliud Kipchoge was overcome with humility and had to drop out of the winning pack to let other people taste the feeling of winning marathons. In the greatest show of humility by the first man to run a marathon under 2 hours in the world, Eliud Kipchoge intentionally slowed down to let the […]

Social Sports

Jubilee: “5 New Stadiums Would take 75 Years to Build”

The Jubilee government wants you to put on your brain and ensure that it is plugged in, before you can repeat the fake news that they promised to build five stadiums in Kenya. During the reopening of the Nyayo Stadium which had been closed for the last three years due to some minor repairs, President […]

Sports

Manchester United set to Sign 3 New Penalty takers

Manchester United is hoping to sign three new penalty takers in the current transfer window, further strengthening the position of the club as a global Penalty FC. In an unconfirmed report from the Manchester club, it is said that the club seeks to capitalize on penalties during the next season and having the right penalty […]

Sports

Bayern Munich Banned from all UEFA Matches for Three Years

The Union of European Football Associations (UEFA) has banned the German football club Bayern Munich from participating in any football match involving non German teams for three years for what it calls sports terrorism. This follows the team’s win against FC Barcelona where they decimated both their defense and their dignity. The ban which takes […]

Social Sports

You can Lose Weight by Watching Workout Videos

Experts have observed that you can lose weight simply by watching workout videos without the need to exercise or have a gym subscription. In a perfect case of eating your pie and having it, you are now free to feast on any junk, provided that you regularly watch exercise videos. This eliminates the nagging practice […]

Social Sports

Experts: 7 km Run adds 30 Minutes to your Life but takes 40 Minutes

A recent study has confirmed that doing a 7 km run adds 30 minutes to your life, although it takes 40 minutes. In what appears to be a net loss situation, joggers seem to be losing in life for every minute they spend on the track, unless of course they are from the Rift Valley […]

Sports

Arsenal to Field all their Black Players against Manchester City, Hoping for a Black Goals Matter Victory

Arsenal will be fielding all their black players in their encounter with Manchester City today at Etihad Stadium in the hope that they can ride on the black lives matter movement to clinch a victory. In their first match since the Covid-19 pandemic, Arsenal seemed hopeful that the new normal could be where it is […]

Sports

Police Officer Filmed Dragging Woman on a Motorbike to be Awarded for Innovation in Transport Methods

A police officer in Kenya who was filmed tying a suspect on a motorbike and dragging her on the road has been praised for his innovation and discovering a new way of getting a suspect to a police station. Speaking to the media, police spokesperson Charles Owino said that this was a very innovative move […]