The Division of Social Policy and Development of the United Nations Secretariat has called for the recognition of lastborns as the official bread losers of the family.
Seeking to make matters official on something that many people have known, the Secretariat said that lastborns were known to be the financial sinkholes for families and it is the time they were honored for the same.
“Our data indicates that lastborns are the reason why many families are still struggling – never mind the same lastborns live like kings. They milk resources from every person and they never give. They are an economic blackhole.”
The designation was welcomed by many people who seem to have held the same opinion for long. Some even went ahead to suggest that the position of lastborns should be abolished and no family should suffer the fate of having a lastborn in the current economic conditions.
“I think it is time we honored them for who they are,” said an overly taxed first born. “They are designed to be annoying and always ready to invoke higher authority whenever things do not go their way. Yet, they have no shame to demand 27% of your monthly income to spend on a 2-day trip to Dubai!”
We spoke to a few lastborns and, honestly, they don’t care whatever you choose to label them.
PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE