Politics

Electoral Commission of Uganda Confirms that Results are Ready Five Days to Elections

The Electoral Commission of Uganda has achieved some efficiency that Kaizen can only dream of. With only five days to the elections, the Commission has reminded Ugandans that it already has the Presidential elections results ready, and is only waiting for the 14th of January to make things official.

In a Tweet that was sent but later deleted because that is not the official communication method for the Commission, the chair of the commission hinted that election was just a necessary evil imposed by some democratic forces and given a chance, they would go ahead to announce the results and let Ugandans rest on the elections day.

“The results are more about what Ugandans need and not what Ugandans deserve. We know that Ugandans have different opinions on who should be the president or who should not, but ultimately the Commission knows what is best for the great people of Uganda. We are the Commission for Ugandans, by Ugandans, of Ugandans.”

Members of the opposition led by Bobi Wine protested the announcement, but the commission reminded them that since they do not know who is the chosen president, they should just shut up and wait patiently because it could be them. “This could be Yoweri, it could be kaguta, it could be Museveni, it could be Yoweri Kaguta, it could be Kaguta Museveni, it could Yoweri Museveni. There are many options and this could land on anybody. Let the cowards stop complaining.”

About

PostaMate is a satirical publication by PostaMate Media. Read more HERE