Former Kiambu Governor and self declared father of the nation Ferdinand Waititu failed to appear in court today and said that he was busy impeaching Covid-119. Through his lawyer, Waititu told the anticorruption court that he had become entangled with corona virus and he needed adequate time to impeach it from the body, adding that […]
Politics
Obado Begs for his file not to be Handed Over to Justice Mumbi Ngugi
Embattled Migori Governor Okoth Obado who successfully managed to drag his family into a corruption sinkhole now has one plea; do not hand over my file to Justice Mumbi Ngugi. Fearing the fate that befell the Ngiritas, Waluke and Wakhungu, Governor Obado asked for his case to be heard by a more reasonable judge who […]
Uhuru Kenyatta Accidentally Repeats an old Speech During the Presidential address on Covid-19 Pandemic
Kenyans were caught up in a time capsule moment when the President Uhuru Kenyatta accidentally read the same Presidential Address on Covid-19 Pandemic as the one he gave last month, with no one realizing that history was literally repeating itself. In a Televised speech from the State House, the president picked a copy of the […]
Uhuru Kenyatta Reaffirms his Commitment to the Rule of Low
President Uhuru Kenyatta has once again reaffirmed his commitment to the rule of low, saying that Kenya is free state where low and orders take precedence over anything else. Speaking in the backdrop of recently unearthed scandals involving loss of billions of money meant for fighting Covid-19 and use of criminal tactics to influence the […]
Uhuru: ‘Corruption is a Devolved Function’
The death of the war on corruption in Kenya has come sooner than expected after the government announced that only county governments have powers and the mandate to deal in and with corruption. Shocking as it might sound, President Uhuru Kenyatta has reiterated that corruption is a devolved function and that the National Government has […]
Government Planning to Reduce Corruption by 50%
The government of Kenya has come up with an ambitious plan to reduce the amount money lost to corruption by 50%. The new initiative will see the government scale down on corruption and switch to the less lucrative activity of taking care of the welfare of the citizens. This marks a major policy shift where […]
Ten Key Points from Uhuru’s Speech
The president has spoken. As usual, nobody knows for sure what he said because that is how it is meant to be (Relax, it is not because you are stupid). That is why PostaMate breaks it down for you. KeyWords Deescalation, Pandemic, experts, fellow Kenyans, unprecedented, Surge, However, normally, alcohol, 21 days, responsibility, Important Points […]
Sonko: Preexisting Cannabis Made Me Sign the Nairobi Deal
Former Nairobi Governor Mike Sonko is now blaming a preexisting condition that made him surrender the city to Uhuru Kenyatta. After some soul searching, the clown governor of Nairobi has realized that it was the marijuana that he smoked many years ago that influenced his decision and now he regrets both the signing and the […]
Sakaja: I am the one who Arrested the Policemen
Nairobi Senator Johnson Sakaja has denied claims that he was arrested at the Ladies Lounge in Kilimani and spent the night at the Kilimani Police Station, instead saying that he is the one who arrested the policemen. Speaking exclusively to PostaMate on phone, Sakaja said that he was at the lounge to investigate claims that […]
Government: “We will Continue with Demolitions until you stop Voting in Morons”
The government has finally spoken its heart out about the demolitions and regular fires at Gikomba market, placing the blame squarely on Kenyans. In what could be the first honest statement from the government, traders at the Gikomba market were told that they will keep experiencing fires and demolitions if they do not change their […]
