In an effort to streamline government operations, President Uhuru Kenyatta has signed an Executive Order that places the office of the Deputy President under the Ministry of Agriculture. In the Executive Order number 8194 of 2020, the president said that he was cognizant of the immense role that Agriculture plays in the economy of Kenya, […]
Tag: Uhuru Kenyatta
Uhuru: ‘I have Done More in 7 Years Than God Did in 7 Days’
President Uhuru Kenyatta yesterday declared that he had achieved more in seven years than what was achieved in the seven days of creation. Speaking during the Madaraka Day celebration that was literally held in his backyard, Uhuru went ahead to highlight some of the greatest achievements that ‘my administration’ had achieved, which every ‘fellow Kenyan’ […]
William Ruto Gifts State House Kenya a Giant Golden Horse
The bromance between Kenya’s President Uhuru Kenyatta and the Deputy President William Ruto has been restored this morning after Ruto gifted State House Kenya a golden horse that symbolizes the value and the bright future of Kenya. The 12 meter tall golden horse was hailed as a game changer in the Jubilee Party politics, since […]
Jubilee Party Removes Ruto’s Hand From their Logo
It’s now official. The marriage is over. The Jubilee Party of Kenya has removed William Ruto’s hand from its logo, marking the final nail of the coffin for the marriage between Uhuru and Ruto’s camps. In the activity that was supervised by Raphael Tuju and witnessed by all but seven Senators, Jubilee said that there […]
Mutahi Kagwe Wins the African Meme Challenge
The Kenyan Health Cabinet Secretary Sen. Mutahi Kagwe has been in the news since Covid-19 appeared in the country. While the position of a Health CS is a boring one that only makes news when talking about jigger eradication, the current CS has completely changed that and even won a Pan African award. The abnormally […]
Millicent Omanga Considering Amputation to Get Rid of a Tattoo of Uhuru Kenyatta
Tattoos are cool, but they are also permanent. Nominated Senator Millicent Omanga should have known that. After the bitter fallout in the ruling Jubilee Party, Senator Millicent Omanga has found herself on the wrong side of both fate and commonsense. An image of President Uhuru Kenyatta that she tattooed on her hand has refused to […]
Kenya to Give Out KShs 300 million to Meme Makers
The government of Kenya has announced plans to disburse KShs 300 million to meme makers, meme lords and meme forwarders as one of the initiatives to cushion them from the effects of the coronavirus pandemic. In a statement from the president who serves as the patron of the memes club, also known as the Meme-in-Chief, […]
Uhuru Kenyatta Extremely Tired of Kenyans
President Uhuru Kenyatta opened up about his frustrations with the people he leads, citing their recklessness, ingratitude, incessant complaining and lack of purpose. In an emotional letter sent to one of his Penpals in the African Union, Uhuru said that he regrets being the president of Kenya and would not wish anyone else to go […]
Uhuru Kenyatta abolishes PAYE for all the Jobless Kenyans
President Uhuru Kenyatta yesterday announced a raft of measures meant to shield Kenyans from the economic impact of the Corona Virus disease. In the reforms that are meant to cut through a wide range of sectors, President Kenyatta reduced VAT, income tax, turnover tax, and Pay as You Earn, with the biggest cut going to […]
After Beyond Zero, Uhuru now Planning to Register for the New York Marathon
President Uhuru Kenyatta made his maiden appearance in athletics when he participated in a 2.6 km race during the Beyond Zero marathon. Clad in jeans and running slightly slower than a crawling toddler, Uhuru Kenyatta managed to hit the finish line with a personal best time of 30 minutes and 50.1 seconds. So slow was […]
