Biden Begs Taliban not to Destroy the 3 KFC restaurants in Kabul

President Joe Biden has called on the Taliban to avoid bombing, destroying or closing down the three KFC in Kabul as a show of commitment to the country’s shared history with the US.

In a cable that was sent to the Taliban, Biden said that both US and Afghanistan have a rich history of shared bullets and the presence of KFCs in Kabul is a sign that the relationship will continue in the foreseeable future.

“We want them to respect KFCs because this is what matters at the moment. Destroying those would mean that all the bombs that we ever used in Afghanistan have gone to waste. Let them stand as a monument that we were once there, and we will come back once a more powerful Republican comes to power.”

Biden added that the US had left a rich American legacy of three KFCs in Kabul, and those should continue to operate as a sign that ‘America was there.’

Asked whether he knew that the KFCs in Kabul are not the usual KFC but Kabul Fried Chicken, Biden said that that did not matter because they communicate the same message. “They are all about fried chicken, something that our nation patented many years ago. That’s all what matters,”

The Taliban are expected to honor the request.

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