Churches in Kenya rushed to register PayBill Numbers moments after the government announced a ban on all public meetings. In a report that was unveiled by Safaricom, the company’s Chief Customer Officer said that they had received more than 900 applications in the first 6 hours since the ban was put to place, highlighting the […]
Religion
Atheists in Kenya Turn to Prayer after Three People Contract Covid-19
The magnitude of the threat posed by the Corona Virus disease became more evident when Atheists in Kenya urged Kenyans to pray that God would spare the country. In a statement issued by the group’s officials on Facebook and shared widely, atheists asked Kenyans to try prayer in order to deal with Corona Virus which […]
Pastor Arrested for telling Congregation to Shake their Neighbour’s Hand
Officers from the Recce squad swiftly moved in to arrest a pastor who threatened to decimate the whole country by acting as the agent of the deadly Corona virus in Kenya. The pastor who was giving a sermon titled ‘Be Still and Know that I am God’ had successfully managed to go through the introduction […]
Owuor Suspends all Prayer and Healing Crusades due to Corona Virus
Mightiest Prophet Dr David Owuor has suspended all public gatherings including miracle healing crusades for the next 18 months, citing fears of corona virus. In a very funny announcement that was made to his followers, Owuor cited the risks posed by the Corona Virus globally and said that members needed to stay safe and avoid […]
Demons Protest the Appointment of Calisto as the Presiding Bishop of CITAM
The recent appointment of Rev Calisto Odede as the presiding Bishop of Christ is the Answer Ministry in preparation for the retirement of the current Bishop Dr David Oginde has elicited mixed reactions all over the country. While many have lauded the appointment as an indicaton of its commitment to the gospel, others have expressed […]
Pastor Stranded after Bible App Updates in the Middle of a Sermon
Everybody knows that technology and disaster always go hand in hand, but for a pastor in one of Mombasa’s largest church, the lesson came in a very costly way. What was supposed to be his first sermon using his newly acquired iPad turned into a total disaster after the App he was using to deliver […]
Kenya to Revise the Lords Prayer to ‘Forgive us Our Loans’
As Kenya’s Debt to GDP Ratio approaches an astronomical figure of 1981%, the government is taking all the possible steps to deal with the cloud of debt that now threats every shilling earned in Kenya. Recent suggestions put forward from the Treasury in collaboration with the church leaders will see the Lord’s prayer revised from […]
Christians now Free to Sleep in Church – Bishops
You can now catch some sleep in church without feeling like a pagan or facing the wrath of an angry usher! This follows an agreement between all the protestant and the catholic churches in the world to make the much needed change that will see more people come to church. In the new regulations that […]
Confusion as Prophet Owuor Fails to Take Credit for the Locusts in Eastern Africa
Efforts to control the desert locusts that have been ravaging parts of Eastern Africa have been hampered by the surprise move by the Mightiest Prophet of God of not taking credit for the invasion. The prophet, who specializes in Disaster Prophecy, has not said a word about the insects, and both followers and critics have […]
Sunday Service Cancelled after Bass Guitar Malfunction
A Sunday service was postponed indefinitely at a Pentecostal church in Nairobi after the only bass guitar in the church malfunctioned. The morning service had to be called off after an intern guitarist accidentally tripped on the revered equipment, breaking one string and seriously damaging the preamplifier that is used with the guitar. The incidence […]
